Graffiti my Heart

bound in love..

decorating my mind with the details

Each letter binding the words to my heart

created with love

a mind so true..

strong and gentle 

I love how you decorate my soul

A design all your own 

On my heart - the most beautiful art..

Your beauty is only shadowed by your love

A treasure without words

Fierce yet tender 

You are my future looking into the past 

and moving ahead..

scribble, scratch or spray me - just don’t erase me..

mark me up..

Crookeds and Straights

zig zagging..

crooked or straight 

Lines

created from life..

past & present

join, intersect and form us..

binding us tight 

The memories 

What we hold near&dear

become our truths..

what we see, what we feel, what we believe to be real 

Is how we deal..

it can grow us or

ravage us 

choices to be made..

It is ok and sometimes 

it is right to live in the crookeds..

There will be no finding the straights..

For there to be a shadow 

There has to be light 

let your focus be on the bright..

Our soundtrack

Stay lost..

Lost in our dance

never find your way out..

Let it be me 

Only me you see

As you move your feet to our beat..

that rhythm of pure sweet..

Love 

Love only me in the sea of hopes & dreams where nothing is like it seems..

For my sway will stay -

no matter if you’re sitting & I’m standing or

You’re running & I’m walking 

The picture in your mind and the soundtrack of my heart create the perfect harmony..

and I am bending, stretching and syncing to your every move..

Lost in the rhythm & blues of our rock’n’roll..

Setting We free..

Setting We free..

Stuck..

that battle is fierce between me, myself and I..

Is she more than me..

Multifaceted 

Here there and everywhere..

or broken pieces scattered about..

am I still free to just be?

Or am I her she and we - and me is lost in between..

The thoughts rage on..

Why does one self insist it is better than the other?

It is plain and simple and beautiful and complex

Quite wonderful really..

That mind 

Those thoughts..

they are everything -

so powerful and full of wonder..

Love and every good thing come from it, 

filtering through my body - making me who she ought to be..

It is my mind that wakes me, shakes me, catapulting me into another orbit - capturing my attention and sends my heart soaring..

so powerful to learn that self-love is more than just a feeling..

I am grateful that while  I see the rain 

she sees the rainbow..

I realize how much I like her and 

The innocence of hope is restored for all of me

And 

I wish to be her, she, me and we..

Waking slowly..

Waking Slowly..

so painful words don’t come..

so numbing

with each limb aching..

it is surreal - wake me up..

and let me never wake again..

Will I feel what’s real

Or stay in this dreamlike nightmare existence..

time alludes me 

I’ve disappeared - slipping into the cracks and i am certain I’ll become dust 

simply disintegrating..

then the love comes -

in numbers unexpected

in ways unimagined 

and with each stitch of love 

my pieces are slowly grafted back together..

Crooked, messy and uneven.. never to match up perfectly again 

but the strings keep pulling tighter - and somehow they hold me together..

my insides don’t pour out- though I feel hollow..

and somehow I don’t hit bottom like dead weight-though I feel like I’ve exploded inside out..

no- somehow l only skim the surface of hell 

and invisible gentle hands put the embers out before I implode into flames 

And hope catches me and it 

saves me..

Thrumming

What a delightful sound 

It is beautiful to my heart..

i love the beat of yours..

thrumming a melody no one can hear..

the ins & outs of your innocent mind wow me 

It’s so wildly different

A unique piece of art that makes up you 

May no one change a thing about you 

May you never fall victim to that 

Though some may find you monotonous and 

Some may find you ever-changing 

just know your kind of perfection is hard to find..

Rare beautiful hope..

Untouched you shall remain - 
continue on in your own enchanting, rhythmic hum..

It is a chant no one can compare..  

Cellophane

Grabbing tight the sweet moments

sealing them in..

searing it into my heart 

my mind & soul..

for surely they will come&go 

Love has taught me so..

The flavor of life is what I choose to drink in seeping through my pores to the very core of my being..

Let the aroma tantalize my senses 

balmy, soothing, calming to my mind

Drench me in the fragrance of it..

Though my heart is transparent - paper like in its’ love-

I am not afraid..

Unaffected, untouched, immune

for i am locked into the eclectic savory taste of life..

Silent uproar

the sounds hold me tight..

their words - in the still of night are reassuring-

Letting me know I’m not alone..

No madness here

in the dark..

Within the recesses of my mind 

my world is perfect..

You wrangle to pull me free because you cannot see the beauty of my bedlam..

People milling about -

always in a frenzied state.. it’s you who live in mayhem..

while my feet shuffle me peacefully to my unknown..

Cars whiz past me heading to their destinations..

All of you living lies,

all of you lost in the rat race - the human race..

my eyes shade me from the harm you mean for me

My mind - my protector covers me..

All the while you tell me it is madness to fall into the arms of the street..

I have no time to waste - trying to arrive to my place 

I will celebrate the pandemonium my own way..

Unparalleled

It’s done 

You won..

soothing words settling my soul 

You inspire a beautiful burning hunger within..

What is it worth 

if it lacks love..

What does it prosper if I can’t find my way out..

You gave me direction in my lost world - 

raw, real, honest 

One of a kind - planting me so firmly 

I will sway every which way - yet never loose my footing 

The more I understand the less I know..

I only know 

You give all you have -

Unparalleled..

The very best 

Because it is for us

Stitches

Burgeoning, flourishing, alive..

each moment budding into a better person..

Awakened..

suddenly aware of how much life is in each moment; 

lived or wasted by choice..

the trajectory of the moments changing..

sending me flying into orbit as I discover the many shapes of me..

My heart - a geometry of sorts..

Lines curves and angles all intersecting..

an arrangement of the parts of my heart all stitched together into a beautiful symmetrical love..

Impossibly Real

Impossible intangible invisible..

real as can be

Something is about to give 

Push the pedal down 

let it take you 

It’s unknown how hard the push will be 

Or where you will be when you are set free

You have nothing left to lose..

Broken fractured souls 

are healed in the freedom

of giving into the mystery..

scream until the light breaks through 

Until the streaks of sunlight make you glow..

You aren’t the only fractured soul waiting to be made whole 

Your lowest low will rise you to the highest highs..

Hold on tight 

The other side is sweeter than sweet 

And will fill you with delight..

 

Beauty Marks

With a grateful heart 

may wise words slip from my mouth 

left to inspire - desire and encourage life

Words.. lasting, ingrained, haunting..

they take on a life of their own

Only to be buried but never forgotten..

expressions that fill you or kill you..

for the seeds are sprinkled 

and syllables take root 

wrapping around your mind finding their way to the heart & soul..

Tread gently - speak softly -

create the quiet, so you can hear the impact you leave behind

And 

watch the indelible etchings you carve into their heart..

Beauty marks that cannot be removed..

Ugly Beautiful

battered, bruised and chipped apart 

but we are solidly rooted 

grounded in love..

misshapen - with an unspoken beauty-

an inward badge of hope, courage and strength..

We stand strong 

like the statuesque oak tree that weathers the storms -

as it creaks and moans in its’ twists & turns..

we -too- bend to the mighty winds - growing in wisdom, connecting and forming to other branches - until we are so solid - no force can shake us..

standing firm in our twisted stance - we are beauty 

catching the eyes of passersby 

sharing feelings of great expectations and desires of hope..

after life dies..

hello..

It’s me 

wanting the old - facing the new 

wishing you were anywhere but below..

Beginnings.. endings..

is there a difference when our beings are connected..

even after life dies 

I keep learning about you..

like waking up to the smell of childhood 

every sense touched 

until I’m flooded with memories that make me whole..

What do I love about you..

To begin with -

Everything..

you completed me - tying up my loose ends - filling me &

making me whole..

Though we tend to eat with our eyes

It is our soul that craves the nutrients 

you taught me what really matters forever more..

With a concentrated effort 

i’ll sync with you

finding your rhythm as life keeps changing -

I’ll hold tight

in a world that’s always moving and filled with hearts that grow cold from weariness..

you will

Warm my bones

as i move into 

fresh starts of old..

A Ray of Hope

Im releasing you free 

unearthing you from the ties that bind

though you don’t know you need to be 

helping you see

giving you back you

You don’t need anyone to think for you anymore..

You are wonderfully, imperfectly made 

The merry-go-round you live on is spiraling down 

Jump off 

Let it out 

Let it go 

change up the sorrow you wear so well -

with inside joy 

Let it stretch your face with laughter and 

Set you free from

Your cage..

your light will shine in

Untempered

Love..

full of raw emotion 

and vulnerabilities..

beautiful, full of life 

And terrifying in its’ unknown..

love beyond your sensibilities 

immerse yourself into the moments 

they are yours to live 

To explore

Put your hand in the Flame

Let it set you on fire 

exist in untempered love 

Unmoderated..

Go as high as the flame will burn before it dies out..

That spark 

will rekindle time after time 

good or bad 

Happy or sad 

shred the moments 

Devour them..

Love in itself is both intense and beautiful 

Better to be skinned alive 

than to never know

a love not lessened by anything..

Au Revoir

I wished to live..

pleading, begging on my knees at times..

struggling for the good,

fighting for air, 

my fight wild and everywhere..

aiming for high 

for every low..

somehow You thought not 

how could You know..

How can that be?

I gave it my all

No holds barred..

through the decimation of my heart and a raping of my soul I persevered.. 

yet somehow You see through eyes of old, of new, of past and present

Of things to be..

help my loves now 

see through fresh eyes,

eyes of yours..

ones that see hope through despair,

ones that see light through dark,

Eyes that stay open

as mine close to rest..

I'm letting go now

For I believe

I once was lost but now I'm free..

The child in my heart will always rise above..

Seeking, hoping,

Knowing there is more to come..

Wild&Mysterious

the draw is unimaginable.. my heart & mind can't reconcile the mystery of you..

It is wild 

Beautiful in its' unknown 

Captivating without touch.. yet you know me inside out

You have this mysterious way of reading me, 

changing me,

renewing me..

There is a pitch and cadence to you that causes thunder in my heart..

You have my attention

I will be patient 

my time is yours..

nothing has nourished my soul like this

Nothing can compare..

Bloody Victory

The wounds are hemorrhaging..

the torture to great to bear.. the heart oozes with agony.. the ugly, the hurt, the groans and moans drowning her out..

no longer concealed within her psyche

there are gaping holes everywhere..

puncture wounds that bandages can not contain, as pieces of her are scattered about..

the stench of her rotting soul engulfs her

The suffocation causing her to run

She looks around blindly, unable to see through her shaded eyes..

gasping for air

desperate enough

She welcomes the thought of newness..

of being rescued from herself 

for she has finally seen the light..

No Such Thing..

Theories..

scientific, romantic, outlandish -

All prolific in our minds..

daydreams that give color to my black & white world..

whimsical fantasies created in the hopes of ones' playful wishes..

perhaps an obsession never a reality..

and then you appeared..

I lost my footing as fantasy and reality blurred.. 

you became the skin wrapped around my skeleton..

Plausible..

the muscle between my skin and bones changing me..

You are my theory..

Anything is possible..

Heart & Mind

In a lightning quick descent of madness,

It began..

the storm clearing 

Sun appearing 

and the noises changing..

nothing making sense 

no right, no wrong

It just was..

Her mind incapable of stopping it - plans grew.. details forming all on their own -

so thorough - she was frightened..

A plethora of firsts..

her hands shaking as she placed them on the sides of her head - willing the thoughts to stop as they ran rampant..

A quiet hum that was ever present exploding into a loud crescendo..

That only her ears could hear

Only her mind could know

Only her heart felt

Others deaf to it..

Welcoming the unknown 

She feels a strength in the unity of her heart & mind..weakness falling to the wayside..

She will walk before the scorching sun and welcome the warmth as it shares its' love with her..

High.. Low..

Love is love 

grand, in all its' splendor

It stands alone 

magical in all its' moments..

euphoric 

manic

The highest high 

The lowest low

twist & turns that bring you to your knees 

filling your heart to the brim

wild moments within

until it overflows..

Take a shot of courage 

Give it your best 

Accept it back with grace 

be humble, be open

Forgiving & soft

Let your passion be unbridled in all things

your love be the place they rest their heart..

And it will be you who is set free..

Overcome

Overcome 

Though the depth of despair lays bare your soul

There's a beauty to your willingness to be broken 

your openness to overcome is breathtaking 

A mystery I'll always try to understand 

the warmth of your sun shines through 

thawing the icy cold 

I see the whole world in your eyes 

your struggle giving you an inner strength 

that is unexplainable 

refusing to fall

You are a vessel of hope 

Giving us strength 

teaching us all monsters want the same thing:

destruction...

never let them take over

You are more than the despondency within

You are the light that guides me home 

Animal Cry

a heart wrenching cry wail..

so visceral - I feel you cut to my core..

Just let go

What used to be doesn't count anymore..

I'll teach you how to do it new

I won't let you say goodbye 

I won't watch you give up 

You cry out silently - 

eyes begging for help..

Osee what's before you..

I will be the she who holds out her hand

The anchor who won't let go..

Hear the scream of my heart 

listen to the loudness of my animal cry for you..

I'm the beast who will fight your demons 

until your mind is no longer weary, 

Until your heart is beating on its' own 

Until your legs find the strength & courage to carry you home

Because that is what love does..

Dust in the wind..

The feel so real 

The fine powder of you covering me 

dust in the wind

nerve endings fire up with the scent.. 

familiar connective tissues back to life 

the debri of we falling back into a stable arrangement of lifelong hopes & dreams..

Yet the dusting of you never settles

as the gust blows through me 

A cold blast of wind rips through my heart 

pulling you from me 

as I clutch on to the remnants of what was..

Deadly Love

she hears sounds 

Sees the lips moving

meaningless words..

The praises bestowed upon her full of empty air

Choking her silent until she couldn't care 

muting her with expectations 

silencing her with his cold indifference 

He shut her down by dismissing her thoughts 

Unaware that she was disappearing into the words..

she heard & felt all the judgement until she wore it like her skin 

buried underneath 

She became invisible..

No one saw the destruction she had become 

All was not well within the walls of her home

Nothing would revive the corpse of her soul

he loved her cruelly until she was no more

Escape Artist

The stillness surrounds her

It's all familiar as her eyes open 

bringing life to her mind

Her heart hearing the words before they escape his lips..

everything has changed everything remains the same..

all of life's moments filtering through her as she hungrily laps it up 

absorbing every drop 

Ravenous for change 

Clinging to hope 

Believing every moment has its' reason and each step a purpose.. 

the very precipice she teeters at determining whether she flees or stays.. 

Desperate to settle 

anxious for her heart to breathe 

She simply chooses to believe

As if it will all fall into place 

Knowing the highest cliff she could jump from

Is trust 

there's no reason to run anymore 

leaving behind the chains that strangled her heart 

and the handcuffs that bound her tight 

the ropes slip off her feet  

and the old becomes new 

She is confined no more..

Quiet Roar..

Quiet Roar..

rumbling 

shaking 

jumbling me to my core 

not sure how it started 

when it began

or where it will end

was there a hello

Is there a goodbye  

is it from within 

Where does it go..

are you just a dream 

I have direction no more 

I'm laying flat out on the floor 

I'm going to love you a little bit more 

Until i hear that quiet roar 

Not Today...

Everything is spinning 

all meshed together 

Good slipping away,

bad gaining power,

happy & sad 

all bleeding as one 

Threatening to bury us in its' mess

we are fading in&out..

Who will break the fall

we will not shatter..

Though like broken sticks and broken stones turn to dust, so will our bones 

we are still standing strong 

not blowing in the wind yet

Not today..

Hold me tight 

we will walk & fall united 

Together as one 

You're my hero 

I'm your weakness 

We are the best of it all

Made from love 

Here's to you & me

and our hearts' content..

Deafening Sounds

Who made these sounds the ruler of her heart..

wondering where it began

what is the purpose of those words spoken..

Each syllable slamming into her like an explosion of shards..

Her emotions flying in every direction 

the aftermath unthinkable 

ripping her apart

The stain runs deep 

Her hands tarnished picking up the pieces 

cleaning up the hurts 

The mess has beat her mind numb

Her heart bleeds 

and the truth spills all over it..

It's never enough for him 

She never has been..

She sits in the darkness waiting for the light 

hoping to understand the words that dictate her heart..

MainStay

Love 

My oldest friend 

Do not abandon me 

disintegrating wasn't part of the plan..

We've journeyed the miles hand in hand 

there is no beginning 

surely there is no end

I won't let go

My foundation, my anchor 

My cornerstone 

We can sail through it all

The sky won't fall 

no overthinking 

No sinking 

Redemption is our friend 

It will pull us up and pull us out 

We extend from the tip top to the bottomless bottom 

Always were, always will..

You are the mainstay of my heart.. 

Locked Up

Doing time 

heart shackled to the moments we've left behind Lock me down in this space 

The confinement of you

The chains may rattle 

the cage may shake 

Yet nothing will unchain the love locked within us

Come what may

Some things remain the same 

I wish to be in your custody 

restraints I will never fight to undo.. 

screw in the bolts 

tighten the locks 

Held captive by us

Doing life with you

my prison of love..

Drifting

the tighter I hold 

The looser the grip..

slowly slipping away

Words sound the same 

scenery looks the same 

Smiling familiar faces 

running circles in the same places 

but the ground is shifting 

Drifting.. can't be stopped..

Airwaves are deadly 

currents sucking me in slowly 

until I'm giving into the pressure..

Being carried away involuntarily 

thrown about aimlessly..

until I glide away 

TrailBlazing

we lit up the paths behind us, 

burning so bright with each venture we'd race to..

each new door we'd dare to jump through 

Unafraid where we'd land.. knowing we were hand in hand

embracing the unknown 

Fearless in our quest for life..

it now blankets our insides, suffocating our outsides

the darkness of fear eclipsing the light that shined so bright 

the silence so eerie, it is all we hear..

Let's start a fire 

Burning up the apparitions that have become us, burying the ghosts we hide in

watching till fear is no more 

Awake with me

Let's ignite the trails till they roar..

Blank Page

We will always be the unfinished story 

the hope of lost moments 

unspoken dreams 

the taste of sweetness throughout me 

it lifts me when I'm down 

pushes me to go on

take my hand, let's carry on 

my mind renewed as the heart leads the way 

writing what it knows 

fascinated, captivated

the pen comes to life 

etching out details to beautiful to share 

real love is messy

it is blissful madness..

We are everything&nothing

the blank page will remain so

the ending always changing 

as our story goes on & on..

thoughts steady as I go